I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
