You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
