I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
