i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
