I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
