We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Alive.
So much puke
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
