oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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