10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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