Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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