I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
