Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
