finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Boobs are out for the taking
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
