This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
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