Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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