I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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