we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
