We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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