Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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