if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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