Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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