Moan for me like Helen Keller
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
