Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
