i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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