Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
