I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I will be naked everywhere
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
