no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
