I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
