My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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