He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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