She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
