i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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