Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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