Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
