You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
