So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
