Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
