the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
