Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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