just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
