I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
