Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Jerry, you need to find god
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I stole a fireplace last night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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