You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
