Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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