Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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