do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
