They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
