i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
