i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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