just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
