and my herpes radar will keep us safe
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
