Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
