worst night to have a conscience
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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